Luke Holland Memorial Trophy

On 6th September we held the second Luke Holland Memorial Football Match between Brockham Badgers and Ockley Acorns. It was a really exciting match again and finished 3-3 (with a rather dubious penalty decision from the referee, Neil). Two of Luke's friends, Nathan Crosbie and Jack Owen ran the line and did a great job of controlling the referee!! The game was played in fantastic spirit and a large crowd came to watch. Thanks boys for doing Luke proud once again. Luke's friends all turned up and had an impromptu kick about on the pitche at half-time. It was good to see them - they're all getting a lot bigger! We suggested a small donation of £1 from each adult, but everyone was so generous we raised an amazing £800 for the Surrey & Sussex Air Ambulance. Thanks to my Dad and Jerry for shaking the buckets, and of course to everyone for their generosity. Same time next year.

Our building work has finished on our house and we have moved back home after 3 months living away with Neil's Mum. It seems strange to be back, as the house has changed quite a bit since we were last living there. Our kitchen is a good size and we have a new bedroom, which we haven't moved into yet. We've got loads of painting to be getting on with, which will keep us busy and we plan to do a room at a time. So glad the scaffolding has been removed and we have our house back.

I've started a Counselling Course at college which I think I'm going to enjoy. It's very early days but the tutor is lovely and there are some very interesting people in the class. I'm sure we'll all get to know each other very well by the end!

It's Been a While

Sorry, haven't posted for ages and ages. Quite a lot has been happening over the last couple of months.

Tragically on 23rd May 2009 Neil's Dad died suddenly from a heart attack. He was walking back from a lovely day at the beach in West Wittering with Neil's Mum and collapsed. They had enjoyed a fantastic number of years at West Wittering camping. The Surrey Air Ambulance took him to Brighton Hospital but sadly he never regained consciousness. We spent the weekend at his bedside with the rest of the family and he was peaceful. It has been such a shock for us all and we have to be grateful he was at a place he loved to be and wouldn't have suffered. God bless Mick - we love you.

About a week before the tragedy, building work started at our house. We are having an extension and now, some 10 weeks on, things are taking shape nicely. We've had to move out for a few weeks and are staying at Neil's Mum's house. We feel like we're living in two houses at the moment but hopefully it won't be for too much longer.

I went away with my sisters, Julia, Diane and Nikkie. This was Nikkie's birthday treat as she was lucky enough to "borrow" a beautiful apartment in Marbella for just over a week. Nik's friends went out with her and stayed a few days and then it was just the 'sister clan' at the end of the holiday. We had a fab time doing very little. Beautiful weather and the apartment was gorgeous. Thanks Nik. x

Oh, forgot to say, Neil had a tattoo done a couple of months ago. He really wanted a picture of Lukey on his arm and we were recommended to a tattooist in Portsmouth. He is so pleased with it. All he needs now is an earring, beer gut and to smoke 40 a day!!!

Ta ta for now. xxx

Paris in the Spring

Neil and I spent four days in Paris in the middle of April. It was a generous gift from my boss last year - two tickets on Eurostar and expenses. We had a lovely time - it was good to get away, but the first time just the two of us, so obviously difficult moments. We stayed right near the Sacre Coeur which we could see from our hotel window and it was beautiful. We made several visits there and it was emotional, atmospheric and very peaceful inside. It was filled with candles lit by visitors and we lit a candle for Lukey and placed it near the statue of Mary and Jesus.

We did all the touristy things, climbing the Eiffel Tower and visiting the Louvre, L'Arc de Triumphe and the Notre Dame. We did loads of walking and needed to come home for a rest!

Week Later!

Hope you all had a great Easter. Went down to the Coast over the week-end met up with the family which was nice. Weather not great but couldn't face being down on the beach. Far too many memories, very difficult. At the moment not sure when I can face the Sea!!
Had a nice walk today with good friends. Appreciated their company, very easy to talk about all sorts of things. Friends like that keep you going which is of great help. But there are many times when you feel really low. Hard to keep positive.
Speak soon. Neilx.

Hope You Are All Well

Dear All,

Don't know where to start but here goes!
Just felt it was time to write as there is alot of things going on. Doesn't time go so quick, the good news is that Brockham Under 16 B's have reached their first ever Cup Final. I know Luke is smiling and really happy for his mates which makes me feel great. Also the time has come to an end for Lukes' Saturday side Ockley, the boys have now finished their football with Ockley but hopefully all staying together to play in another team for next year, good on ya lads. Also Lukes' Sunday side Brockham will still be playing next year which is great as the year after there all be off to Uni, college, work etc.
To all of Lukes' many friends at school put the work in won't you, it's very very important. You've just got a few weeks left before your exams. I know alot of you, you've all got a great nature. I know it's hard but hey it will be worth it in the end!!
After the exams, for those going to Newquay, go careful, and please look out for each other.
At the end of this month, Sal and I are off to Royal London Hospital to help with starting an Intensive Care Support Group. Should be interesting and hopefully we can help in someway.
More chat tomorrow, sleep well. Neilx.

Care for the Family Article

Just a quick update. I've started at my voluntary job working in the garden at The Grange in Bookham, a home for disabled adults. I've been twice now and each time I've been the sun has been shining - I'm not looking forward to working in the rain. The people there are lovely and friendly and it's good to be outside in the fresh air. I'm only doing every other Monday morning so it's not too difficult.

We've just received an e-mail to say they have published our story in the latest Care for the Family newsletter. This is the group that we are in touch with who hold the Day for Bereaved Parents. They asked us if we would like to write up a piece on our story and we agreed. You can find it at the following www.careforthefamily.org.uk/bpn/newsletter Hope you like it. X

Luke's 16th Birthday - 22nd February 2009

Sorry, not very good at posting very frequently. Running out of things to say! Luke's 16th Birthday was on a Sunday and we had all the family over and went for a walk up to the treehouse with 16 blue helium balloons. It was quite windy when we arrived there and the balloons got completely tangled up together, which made it a bit of a task to unravel them. We planted some daffodils and hyacinths around the bottom of the tree and roses were placed in the branches. My nephew Doug climbed up high and tied Neil's Chelsea top to one of the branches. Neil tried to climb it too but didn't get too far. The snowdrops were through and it looked very pretty and peaceful there. We all had a balloon and tied Surrey Air Ambulance leaflets to each one. As we all let them go together they fell a few feet from us all. It made us laugh. Lukey must have been having a laugh. We walked back via the churchyard and laid flowers at Lukey's grave. Everyone came back to ours for lunch. It was good to see everyone but sad that someone was missing. Love you Lukey. xxx

Update for December and January

Sorry we haven't posted for some while. No reason really just a case of getting down to it. Christmas was just as we had hoped - very different. Certainly the best thing we could have done. It took our minds off the 'normal' Christmas morning as we had to leave the house at 5.30 am. Met some interesting people in Deptford, on the whole very lonely people who were able to have three good meals and some company. It was a great atmosphere and there were plenty of volunteers. A few rough sleepers who were able to have a good clean up and a change of clothes and a hair cut. Quite a transformation for some people. I think the thing they valued the most was being able to talk to people and having someone listen to them.

New Year's Eve we weren't sure whether we would go out or not. Our usual crowd were getting together and, without putting on any pressure, were keen for us to join them. We did and we had a lovely evening. Midnight was obviously a low point but our friends kept it all pretty low key and helped us get through the evening. You know who you are and thanks a million.

Then the first anniversary of losing Lukey. Again, we were not sure what to do but felt we wanted to do something. We made a rather last minute decision to have a Memorial/Thanksgiving Service at Christ Church in Brockham and hoped Luke's friends would come. We wanted to put a small notice in the local paper but it kind of snowballed and became a short article inviting anyone who wanted to come! Around 300 people came and it was a lovely service. We tried to make it a little upbeat and had the congregation singing 'Blue is the Colour' as our last 'hymn'. (Even some Arsenal and Sunderland fans were singing apparently!) Neil made an emotional speech, which was important for him as he had missed the funeral. Luke's friend Lee gave a slightly different account of our Lukey and some of the antics they got up to. It made us all smile. We had a special time when people could come up and light a candle (we almost ran out!). It took about half an hour for all the candles to be lit and it was getting rather hot down at the front! Everyone was invited into the church hall for tea, coffee and cakes and I think we just about managed to get everybody in. Thanks to all our friends who helped in the kitchen and made cakes. We have a great support network from some lovely people.

Luke's birthday will be with us shortly so another difficult day to come. Don't think we will be doing much but who knows!

Have a Christmas filled with Love and Peace

Well the time of year is fast approaching that most people look forward to and get into the spirit of. Sadly not any more for us. I can't imagine Christmas will ever be fun again. Anyone who has lost a loved one will know what a difficult time of the year this is. There's no way of avoiding it - it's everywhere! Christmas is for children and Luke loved Christmas. He spent hours going through the Argos catalogue and bending back the pages of the gifts he fancied. Every week he would change his mind about what he wanted for Christmas. He still has his presents from last year which have been barely used and still waiting for him in his bedroom. He used to climb into our bed first thing in the morning and still had a pillowcase full of presents. He never asked about Father Christmas and so we pretended to eachother. He always bought Neil and I a present every year. He was a special boy and life is empty without him.

We've been invited to his school this Wednesday to an awards evening. They will be giving out a sporting award in Luke's memory to someone in his year, which will be difficult but is a lovely gesture.

Christmas morning we will have to be up bright and early, about 5.00 am, to set off for London so we won't have time to feel gloomy. We have to be in Deptford at 6.45 ready to open the doors at 8.30 am. We went to a meeting last weekend which explained what we should expect and what we might be asked to do, eg. washing their hair and their feet, 'Marigold Duty', ie. cleaning the toilets, as well as the more fun things like serving the food and talking to the guests. Christmas certainly will be different this year!

Positive Steps Forward

Although we are in a tunnel of sadness, there are some positive things coming up on the horizon which we'd like to share with you.

On 8th November we are going to another 'Bereavement Day for Parents', this time locally in Reigate. We are hoping to meet some lovely people again and to share and comfort each other. This will be similar to the one we attended in Liverpool a few months ago but we felt we gained great strength and benefit from it we decided to do it again.

Then at the end of November we are going away for a weekend to Devon with a group of couples who have all lost an only child. It's not a formal structured weekend just a pre-Christmas get together and a chance to chat and help one another. We've been in touch with a couple of people and they seem very positive and friendly. We won't really know anyone but I'm sure we will do after a couple of days!

When we went to The Royal London Hospital a few weeks ago we were asked if we would help them set up a support group for people and their families who had been in Intensive Care. We are both really keen to do this and agreed without hesitation. They will contact us early next year to arrange things. They are so pleased with Neil and his progress and see him as a positive example

Christmas is looming and it will be such a hard time for us and our families. We have decided to help the homeless in Deptford for the Crisis Christmas Centre on Christmas Day and Boxing Day starting at 7.00 am! We should be finished late afternoon and able to see both families in the early evening. Just wanted to do something different. Christmas is a time for children and we just want it to come and go as quickly as possible.

Hopefully a few things to look forward to in the future.

One Day I'll Get My Wish!

It's been a while now since I last wrote. Hope you are all well.


I paid another visit to Royal London Hospital and they've now signed me off . They said it's still early days for my breathing to improve because they reckon on 12 to 18 months after you've been in intensive care. I happened to meet up with one of the male nursing staff who was on my operation, and his only comment to me was that 'I owe him a nights sleep' after what I put him through. After my consultation they agreed that I'm about 75 to 80% better, so I should be happy! but am I?

I'm enjoying reffing again but need to get off pretty quickly as I get terribly upset after the games, I'm sure I don't have to tell you why. I thought it might get easier to deal with, but it gets so much harder.

People have been fantastic, and I'm happy to admit, that at times I don't appear to be grateful for all that has been done.

Next year with the help of other great people we hope to do an annual event for the children. Still to be confirmed but will let you know early next year.

Nearly 10 months have now passed and alot has happened. To you all, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Nearly £30,000.00 quid in on and off-line charity donations do I need to say anymore!

To all, look after yourselves.

One day I'll get my wish! x

Luke Holland Memorial Match

A huge supportive crowd gathered to watch the Luke Holland Memorial Match on Sunday 7th September. Approximately 400 people cheered on the two teams Luke played for, Brockham Badgers and Ockley Acorns, who were battling it out for the trophy. All his friends were playing and both teams were keen to win. Ockley opened the scoring on what turned out to be a dry night with the pitch in perfect condition. By half-time Ockley were winning 2-0. In the second half Brockham pulled back a goal and as the game went on Ockley were leading 3-2. Some excellent football was being played by both teams and the crowd were enjoying the performance. Minutes from the final whistle Brockham scored the final goal to level the match 3-3. A very neutral referee (Neil!) decided extra time and penalties would not be played and so both teams shared the trophy. A fantastic game and a perfect score. You did Lukey proud boys. A small donation of £1 was suggested from each adult with the money to go to Surrey Air Ambulance. They obviously didn't take any notice as we raised an amazing £741.56!! Thank you everyone for your generosity and for an emotional but lovely evening. A special tribute to our special boy.

Change Of Kick-Off Re:Memorial Game At Dorking FC - 7th September 2008

Hi Everyone, due to an F.A. Vase game being played in the afternoon we have had to change the time of kick-off for the game between Brockham and Ockley. It will now be 7.00pm under floodlights on this Sunday 7th September 2008. Hopefully this won't change your plans too much so look forward to seeing you all on the day. X

Memorial Football Match For Our Lukey - Sept 7th 2008

Hi All, I can't believe I have to write this even after seven months of Lukey boy not being here. For Sal and I it will be very nice to see everyone but very tough when it is all over. The under 15 boys of Brockham and Ockley of last season will battle it out for a trophy in honour of our boy. It will be held at Dorking Football Club on Sunday 7th September 2008, kick off 11.15am. I'm going to try and referee the game which I hope I can enjoy as well as remembering what Luke would do in certain football situations. As I said before it would be great to see everyone before and after in the bar. There maybe a small admission fee which will go towards the total raised for the Air Ambulance. Just for me to say let's hope it's a good day!

Holiday in the Sun

We've recently got back from a holiday with my family in a very hot Spain. Julia and Alan very generously hired a large villa near Marbella and invited both sides of the family (Al's side the first week and Ju's side the second.) Neil and I flew out there on 31st July and my sisters and Mum all arrived within a few days. Ju & Al's boys, Chris and Doug spent most of the time bombing us in the pool as we lay relaxing on the sunbeds. Little darlings. We barely saw a cloud all week and the temperature spent most of the time in the high 90's. It was just what we all needed, a bit of time out relaxing, eating, drinking, reading and swimming. Obviously some highs and lows but being together was lovely. Neil seemed to have a challenge every day, went running with Al, Chris and Nikkie several times. He swam in the sea out to a buoy a long way out, despite the fact we all told him not to!! He lifted Alan onto his shoulders in the swimming pool and spent the next few days with backache. He played Alan at golf and was kindly given a handicap, which Al probably regretted as they finished even. Good to have a change of scenery, lovely company and a time to think and relax. Now back home where there are plenty of clouds and the temperature is in the mid 60's. It's lovely to be home! Wouldn't want to live anywhere else though.

Great Day Had By All

The British 10k Hyde Park Run - Sunday 6th July 2008. Apart from getting married and then having Luke this was probably the next best thing that has ever happened to me.

Yesterday we woke up at 5.30 am to very dark clouds and it started to pour with rain just after 6.00am. All of us met and left Brockham by coach generously donated by Edward Thomas & Sons at 6.45am yesterday morning. We got to Hyde Park to very changeable weather.

23 lovely people ran their hearts out for both the Surrey & Sussex and the London Air Ambulance. The race started at The Hard Rock Cafe in Piccadilly and finished in Whitehall. We then all met in St James's Park for a picnic and a well earned rest. The coach arrived to take us back to Brockham for Teas on the green where the shone for the rest of the afternoon. A huge amount of cakes had been donated and a large number of supporters turned up to drink tea and eat cakes and strawberries and cream. We raffled the prizes and auctioned the bottle of whisky all donated by Edward Thomas & Sons.

Thank you to everyone who all made it such a very special day including the children who made the superb banners.

Above is a photo of some well known highly toned athletes who did a PB of 59.59!

Next Sunday Hyde Park Here We Come!

To all 23 of you that are running next Sunday in Hyde Park for both the Surrey / Sussex and the London Air Ambulance may I wish you all the very best. It's great that you're all doing this. I know that some of you haven't run very much before so to do this will be a great personal achievement. Sal, and I will be with you all the way and meet you with open arms at the finish! Remember it will be tough, but no pain no gain so you all must finish!! Love Always xx.

Week-end Of Highs and Lows!!

Last Friday I had great pleasure in giving a 'Luke memorial award' to one of his many friends George Stables at Ockley football clubs annual presentation evening at the Surrey Hills Hotel. Many thanks to Neil Cumming for his kind words about Luke and myself. As I said in my speech Luke had 4 great years playing for another club and my thanks go initially to Graham East for accepting Luke to play for Ockley where he made many friends from another village, you could say a great bunch of lads.

Saturday, woke up to a lovely morning where Brockham Football Club held there annual week-end football tournament where about 200 teams battled it out to win a Euro trophy. Enjoyed my time refereeing the under 12's with two other colleagues Tony and Phil. It was uncomfortable at times but as they say 'no pain no gain'.

Sunday was a strange day. Alot was crammed in to make my day special. Firstly I did enjoy very much managing the Brockham under 15 B's. The boys worked hard but didn't quite get the results. I blame the manager on the day, he should get the sack! Come back Martin!!

Then when the Surrey & Sussex helicopter arrived at 10.30am all I could think about was why wasn't Luke on it. He's well again. I just can't seem to come to terms with it that he's not! I keep repeating the same statement I know,he should be here, not me. Got through the afternoon don't know how but I keep saying that.

Take care all of you. x

BROCKHAM '08 FOOTBALL TOURNAMENT - 14TH & 15TH JUNE

This coming weekend is a huge event for the Brockham Badgers Football Club, when they hold their annual 6-a-side tournament at Kiln Lane in Brockham. 192 teams over the weekend will be taking part and it is a very well organised event.

Grant Ashley, the Chairman of Brockham Badgers, has arranged for the Surrey Air Ambulance to attend hopefully for all day on Sunday 15th, emergencies permitting, and there will be a stand there too. The pilot, Peter Driver, who attended Neil's accident, will be there on Sunday and it will be lovely to meet him, as we didn't see him when we visited their headquarters the other week. They are hoping to have talks about the helicopter and the service they provide. Neil and I will both be there probably for most of the weekend. Neil is running a team and I will be helping with anything that may need to be done! Luke played last year and his team were runners up.

The Surrey Air Ambulance is also hoping to do a fly by on Saturday 14th.

Under 12s B 5k Fun Run for Surrey Air Ambulance

This morning Duncan Hanwell and his under 12s B Brockham Badgers team organised a sponsored fun run around Brockham and Betchworth, setting off from Brockham Green at 10.30. Around 90 people, mainly children dressed in Brockham Badgers kits, and also adults, joined in and ran the hilly course towards Betchworth Church and over the Chimney Tops and back onto the green to raise money for the Surrey Air Ambulance. Neil and I were amazed and extremely grateful that so many people had taken the time and trouble to take part. Thank you Duncan and well done to you all, you should be very proud of yourselves. You're all helping to raise the total for Surrey Air Ambulance!