Paris in the Spring

Neil and I spent four days in Paris in the middle of April. It was a generous gift from my boss last year - two tickets on Eurostar and expenses. We had a lovely time - it was good to get away, but the first time just the two of us, so obviously difficult moments. We stayed right near the Sacre Coeur which we could see from our hotel window and it was beautiful. We made several visits there and it was emotional, atmospheric and very peaceful inside. It was filled with candles lit by visitors and we lit a candle for Lukey and placed it near the statue of Mary and Jesus.

We did all the touristy things, climbing the Eiffel Tower and visiting the Louvre, L'Arc de Triumphe and the Notre Dame. We did loads of walking and needed to come home for a rest!

Week Later!

Hope you all had a great Easter. Went down to the Coast over the week-end met up with the family which was nice. Weather not great but couldn't face being down on the beach. Far too many memories, very difficult. At the moment not sure when I can face the Sea!!
Had a nice walk today with good friends. Appreciated their company, very easy to talk about all sorts of things. Friends like that keep you going which is of great help. But there are many times when you feel really low. Hard to keep positive.
Speak soon. Neilx.

Hope You Are All Well

Dear All,

Don't know where to start but here goes!
Just felt it was time to write as there is alot of things going on. Doesn't time go so quick, the good news is that Brockham Under 16 B's have reached their first ever Cup Final. I know Luke is smiling and really happy for his mates which makes me feel great. Also the time has come to an end for Lukes' Saturday side Ockley, the boys have now finished their football with Ockley but hopefully all staying together to play in another team for next year, good on ya lads. Also Lukes' Sunday side Brockham will still be playing next year which is great as the year after there all be off to Uni, college, work etc.
To all of Lukes' many friends at school put the work in won't you, it's very very important. You've just got a few weeks left before your exams. I know alot of you, you've all got a great nature. I know it's hard but hey it will be worth it in the end!!
After the exams, for those going to Newquay, go careful, and please look out for each other.
At the end of this month, Sal and I are off to Royal London Hospital to help with starting an Intensive Care Support Group. Should be interesting and hopefully we can help in someway.
More chat tomorrow, sleep well. Neilx.

Care for the Family Article

Just a quick update. I've started at my voluntary job working in the garden at The Grange in Bookham, a home for disabled adults. I've been twice now and each time I've been the sun has been shining - I'm not looking forward to working in the rain. The people there are lovely and friendly and it's good to be outside in the fresh air. I'm only doing every other Monday morning so it's not too difficult.

We've just received an e-mail to say they have published our story in the latest Care for the Family newsletter. This is the group that we are in touch with who hold the Day for Bereaved Parents. They asked us if we would like to write up a piece on our story and we agreed. You can find it at the following www.careforthefamily.org.uk/bpn/newsletter Hope you like it. X

Luke's 16th Birthday - 22nd February 2009

Sorry, not very good at posting very frequently. Running out of things to say! Luke's 16th Birthday was on a Sunday and we had all the family over and went for a walk up to the treehouse with 16 blue helium balloons. It was quite windy when we arrived there and the balloons got completely tangled up together, which made it a bit of a task to unravel them. We planted some daffodils and hyacinths around the bottom of the tree and roses were placed in the branches. My nephew Doug climbed up high and tied Neil's Chelsea top to one of the branches. Neil tried to climb it too but didn't get too far. The snowdrops were through and it looked very pretty and peaceful there. We all had a balloon and tied Surrey Air Ambulance leaflets to each one. As we all let them go together they fell a few feet from us all. It made us laugh. Lukey must have been having a laugh. We walked back via the churchyard and laid flowers at Lukey's grave. Everyone came back to ours for lunch. It was good to see everyone but sad that someone was missing. Love you Lukey. xxx

Update for December and January

Sorry we haven't posted for some while. No reason really just a case of getting down to it. Christmas was just as we had hoped - very different. Certainly the best thing we could have done. It took our minds off the 'normal' Christmas morning as we had to leave the house at 5.30 am. Met some interesting people in Deptford, on the whole very lonely people who were able to have three good meals and some company. It was a great atmosphere and there were plenty of volunteers. A few rough sleepers who were able to have a good clean up and a change of clothes and a hair cut. Quite a transformation for some people. I think the thing they valued the most was being able to talk to people and having someone listen to them.

New Year's Eve we weren't sure whether we would go out or not. Our usual crowd were getting together and, without putting on any pressure, were keen for us to join them. We did and we had a lovely evening. Midnight was obviously a low point but our friends kept it all pretty low key and helped us get through the evening. You know who you are and thanks a million.

Then the first anniversary of losing Lukey. Again, we were not sure what to do but felt we wanted to do something. We made a rather last minute decision to have a Memorial/Thanksgiving Service at Christ Church in Brockham and hoped Luke's friends would come. We wanted to put a small notice in the local paper but it kind of snowballed and became a short article inviting anyone who wanted to come! Around 300 people came and it was a lovely service. We tried to make it a little upbeat and had the congregation singing 'Blue is the Colour' as our last 'hymn'. (Even some Arsenal and Sunderland fans were singing apparently!) Neil made an emotional speech, which was important for him as he had missed the funeral. Luke's friend Lee gave a slightly different account of our Lukey and some of the antics they got up to. It made us all smile. We had a special time when people could come up and light a candle (we almost ran out!). It took about half an hour for all the candles to be lit and it was getting rather hot down at the front! Everyone was invited into the church hall for tea, coffee and cakes and I think we just about managed to get everybody in. Thanks to all our friends who helped in the kitchen and made cakes. We have a great support network from some lovely people.

Luke's birthday will be with us shortly so another difficult day to come. Don't think we will be doing much but who knows!

Have a Christmas filled with Love and Peace

Well the time of year is fast approaching that most people look forward to and get into the spirit of. Sadly not any more for us. I can't imagine Christmas will ever be fun again. Anyone who has lost a loved one will know what a difficult time of the year this is. There's no way of avoiding it - it's everywhere! Christmas is for children and Luke loved Christmas. He spent hours going through the Argos catalogue and bending back the pages of the gifts he fancied. Every week he would change his mind about what he wanted for Christmas. He still has his presents from last year which have been barely used and still waiting for him in his bedroom. He used to climb into our bed first thing in the morning and still had a pillowcase full of presents. He never asked about Father Christmas and so we pretended to eachother. He always bought Neil and I a present every year. He was a special boy and life is empty without him.

We've been invited to his school this Wednesday to an awards evening. They will be giving out a sporting award in Luke's memory to someone in his year, which will be difficult but is a lovely gesture.

Christmas morning we will have to be up bright and early, about 5.00 am, to set off for London so we won't have time to feel gloomy. We have to be in Deptford at 6.45 ready to open the doors at 8.30 am. We went to a meeting last weekend which explained what we should expect and what we might be asked to do, eg. washing their hair and their feet, 'Marigold Duty', ie. cleaning the toilets, as well as the more fun things like serving the food and talking to the guests. Christmas certainly will be different this year!