Have a Christmas filled with Love and Peace

Well the time of year is fast approaching that most people look forward to and get into the spirit of. Sadly not any more for us. I can't imagine Christmas will ever be fun again. Anyone who has lost a loved one will know what a difficult time of the year this is. There's no way of avoiding it - it's everywhere! Christmas is for children and Luke loved Christmas. He spent hours going through the Argos catalogue and bending back the pages of the gifts he fancied. Every week he would change his mind about what he wanted for Christmas. He still has his presents from last year which have been barely used and still waiting for him in his bedroom. He used to climb into our bed first thing in the morning and still had a pillowcase full of presents. He never asked about Father Christmas and so we pretended to eachother. He always bought Neil and I a present every year. He was a special boy and life is empty without him.

We've been invited to his school this Wednesday to an awards evening. They will be giving out a sporting award in Luke's memory to someone in his year, which will be difficult but is a lovely gesture.

Christmas morning we will have to be up bright and early, about 5.00 am, to set off for London so we won't have time to feel gloomy. We have to be in Deptford at 6.45 ready to open the doors at 8.30 am. We went to a meeting last weekend which explained what we should expect and what we might be asked to do, eg. washing their hair and their feet, 'Marigold Duty', ie. cleaning the toilets, as well as the more fun things like serving the food and talking to the guests. Christmas certainly will be different this year!

Positive Steps Forward

Although we are in a tunnel of sadness, there are some positive things coming up on the horizon which we'd like to share with you.

On 8th November we are going to another 'Bereavement Day for Parents', this time locally in Reigate. We are hoping to meet some lovely people again and to share and comfort each other. This will be similar to the one we attended in Liverpool a few months ago but we felt we gained great strength and benefit from it we decided to do it again.

Then at the end of November we are going away for a weekend to Devon with a group of couples who have all lost an only child. It's not a formal structured weekend just a pre-Christmas get together and a chance to chat and help one another. We've been in touch with a couple of people and they seem very positive and friendly. We won't really know anyone but I'm sure we will do after a couple of days!

When we went to The Royal London Hospital a few weeks ago we were asked if we would help them set up a support group for people and their families who had been in Intensive Care. We are both really keen to do this and agreed without hesitation. They will contact us early next year to arrange things. They are so pleased with Neil and his progress and see him as a positive example

Christmas is looming and it will be such a hard time for us and our families. We have decided to help the homeless in Deptford for the Crisis Christmas Centre on Christmas Day and Boxing Day starting at 7.00 am! We should be finished late afternoon and able to see both families in the early evening. Just wanted to do something different. Christmas is a time for children and we just want it to come and go as quickly as possible.

Hopefully a few things to look forward to in the future.

One Day I'll Get My Wish!

It's been a while now since I last wrote. Hope you are all well.


I paid another visit to Royal London Hospital and they've now signed me off . They said it's still early days for my breathing to improve because they reckon on 12 to 18 months after you've been in intensive care. I happened to meet up with one of the male nursing staff who was on my operation, and his only comment to me was that 'I owe him a nights sleep' after what I put him through. After my consultation they agreed that I'm about 75 to 80% better, so I should be happy! but am I?

I'm enjoying reffing again but need to get off pretty quickly as I get terribly upset after the games, I'm sure I don't have to tell you why. I thought it might get easier to deal with, but it gets so much harder.

People have been fantastic, and I'm happy to admit, that at times I don't appear to be grateful for all that has been done.

Next year with the help of other great people we hope to do an annual event for the children. Still to be confirmed but will let you know early next year.

Nearly 10 months have now passed and alot has happened. To you all, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Nearly £30,000.00 quid in on and off-line charity donations do I need to say anymore!

To all, look after yourselves.

One day I'll get my wish! x

Luke Holland Memorial Match

A huge supportive crowd gathered to watch the Luke Holland Memorial Match on Sunday 7th September. Approximately 400 people cheered on the two teams Luke played for, Brockham Badgers and Ockley Acorns, who were battling it out for the trophy. All his friends were playing and both teams were keen to win. Ockley opened the scoring on what turned out to be a dry night with the pitch in perfect condition. By half-time Ockley were winning 2-0. In the second half Brockham pulled back a goal and as the game went on Ockley were leading 3-2. Some excellent football was being played by both teams and the crowd were enjoying the performance. Minutes from the final whistle Brockham scored the final goal to level the match 3-3. A very neutral referee (Neil!) decided extra time and penalties would not be played and so both teams shared the trophy. A fantastic game and a perfect score. You did Lukey proud boys. A small donation of £1 was suggested from each adult with the money to go to Surrey Air Ambulance. They obviously didn't take any notice as we raised an amazing £741.56!! Thank you everyone for your generosity and for an emotional but lovely evening. A special tribute to our special boy.

Change Of Kick-Off Re:Memorial Game At Dorking FC - 7th September 2008

Hi Everyone, due to an F.A. Vase game being played in the afternoon we have had to change the time of kick-off for the game between Brockham and Ockley. It will now be 7.00pm under floodlights on this Sunday 7th September 2008. Hopefully this won't change your plans too much so look forward to seeing you all on the day. X

Memorial Football Match For Our Lukey - Sept 7th 2008

Hi All, I can't believe I have to write this even after seven months of Lukey boy not being here. For Sal and I it will be very nice to see everyone but very tough when it is all over. The under 15 boys of Brockham and Ockley of last season will battle it out for a trophy in honour of our boy. It will be held at Dorking Football Club on Sunday 7th September 2008, kick off 11.15am. I'm going to try and referee the game which I hope I can enjoy as well as remembering what Luke would do in certain football situations. As I said before it would be great to see everyone before and after in the bar. There maybe a small admission fee which will go towards the total raised for the Air Ambulance. Just for me to say let's hope it's a good day!

Holiday in the Sun

We've recently got back from a holiday with my family in a very hot Spain. Julia and Alan very generously hired a large villa near Marbella and invited both sides of the family (Al's side the first week and Ju's side the second.) Neil and I flew out there on 31st July and my sisters and Mum all arrived within a few days. Ju & Al's boys, Chris and Doug spent most of the time bombing us in the pool as we lay relaxing on the sunbeds. Little darlings. We barely saw a cloud all week and the temperature spent most of the time in the high 90's. It was just what we all needed, a bit of time out relaxing, eating, drinking, reading and swimming. Obviously some highs and lows but being together was lovely. Neil seemed to have a challenge every day, went running with Al, Chris and Nikkie several times. He swam in the sea out to a buoy a long way out, despite the fact we all told him not to!! He lifted Alan onto his shoulders in the swimming pool and spent the next few days with backache. He played Alan at golf and was kindly given a handicap, which Al probably regretted as they finished even. Good to have a change of scenery, lovely company and a time to think and relax. Now back home where there are plenty of clouds and the temperature is in the mid 60's. It's lovely to be home! Wouldn't want to live anywhere else though.

Great Day Had By All

The British 10k Hyde Park Run - Sunday 6th July 2008. Apart from getting married and then having Luke this was probably the next best thing that has ever happened to me.

Yesterday we woke up at 5.30 am to very dark clouds and it started to pour with rain just after 6.00am. All of us met and left Brockham by coach generously donated by Edward Thomas & Sons at 6.45am yesterday morning. We got to Hyde Park to very changeable weather.

23 lovely people ran their hearts out for both the Surrey & Sussex and the London Air Ambulance. The race started at The Hard Rock Cafe in Piccadilly and finished in Whitehall. We then all met in St James's Park for a picnic and a well earned rest. The coach arrived to take us back to Brockham for Teas on the green where the shone for the rest of the afternoon. A huge amount of cakes had been donated and a large number of supporters turned up to drink tea and eat cakes and strawberries and cream. We raffled the prizes and auctioned the bottle of whisky all donated by Edward Thomas & Sons.

Thank you to everyone who all made it such a very special day including the children who made the superb banners.

Above is a photo of some well known highly toned athletes who did a PB of 59.59!

Next Sunday Hyde Park Here We Come!

To all 23 of you that are running next Sunday in Hyde Park for both the Surrey / Sussex and the London Air Ambulance may I wish you all the very best. It's great that you're all doing this. I know that some of you haven't run very much before so to do this will be a great personal achievement. Sal, and I will be with you all the way and meet you with open arms at the finish! Remember it will be tough, but no pain no gain so you all must finish!! Love Always xx.

Week-end Of Highs and Lows!!

Last Friday I had great pleasure in giving a 'Luke memorial award' to one of his many friends George Stables at Ockley football clubs annual presentation evening at the Surrey Hills Hotel. Many thanks to Neil Cumming for his kind words about Luke and myself. As I said in my speech Luke had 4 great years playing for another club and my thanks go initially to Graham East for accepting Luke to play for Ockley where he made many friends from another village, you could say a great bunch of lads.

Saturday, woke up to a lovely morning where Brockham Football Club held there annual week-end football tournament where about 200 teams battled it out to win a Euro trophy. Enjoyed my time refereeing the under 12's with two other colleagues Tony and Phil. It was uncomfortable at times but as they say 'no pain no gain'.

Sunday was a strange day. Alot was crammed in to make my day special. Firstly I did enjoy very much managing the Brockham under 15 B's. The boys worked hard but didn't quite get the results. I blame the manager on the day, he should get the sack! Come back Martin!!

Then when the Surrey & Sussex helicopter arrived at 10.30am all I could think about was why wasn't Luke on it. He's well again. I just can't seem to come to terms with it that he's not! I keep repeating the same statement I know,he should be here, not me. Got through the afternoon don't know how but I keep saying that.

Take care all of you. x

BROCKHAM '08 FOOTBALL TOURNAMENT - 14TH & 15TH JUNE

This coming weekend is a huge event for the Brockham Badgers Football Club, when they hold their annual 6-a-side tournament at Kiln Lane in Brockham. 192 teams over the weekend will be taking part and it is a very well organised event.

Grant Ashley, the Chairman of Brockham Badgers, has arranged for the Surrey Air Ambulance to attend hopefully for all day on Sunday 15th, emergencies permitting, and there will be a stand there too. The pilot, Peter Driver, who attended Neil's accident, will be there on Sunday and it will be lovely to meet him, as we didn't see him when we visited their headquarters the other week. They are hoping to have talks about the helicopter and the service they provide. Neil and I will both be there probably for most of the weekend. Neil is running a team and I will be helping with anything that may need to be done! Luke played last year and his team were runners up.

The Surrey Air Ambulance is also hoping to do a fly by on Saturday 14th.

Under 12s B 5k Fun Run for Surrey Air Ambulance

This morning Duncan Hanwell and his under 12s B Brockham Badgers team organised a sponsored fun run around Brockham and Betchworth, setting off from Brockham Green at 10.30. Around 90 people, mainly children dressed in Brockham Badgers kits, and also adults, joined in and ran the hilly course towards Betchworth Church and over the Chimney Tops and back onto the green to raise money for the Surrey Air Ambulance. Neil and I were amazed and extremely grateful that so many people had taken the time and trouble to take part. Thank you Duncan and well done to you all, you should be very proud of yourselves. You're all helping to raise the total for Surrey Air Ambulance!

Visit to Surrey Air Ambulance HQ

On Thursday 29th May, Neil and I and most of our families together with two of Luke's good friends, Ali and Alex, went over to Dunsfold to visit the Surrey Air Ambulance. We didn't know what to expect and were hoping to meet the doctor and to see the helicopter. We weren't disappointed. We were welcomed by the lovely staff there and were introduced to the doctor, Jeremy Smith, and Critical Care Paramedic, Neil Painter, who both assisted Neil at the accident scene. It was an emotional morning and the sun shone. They were amazed to see Neil looking so fit and well and we were overwhelmed to meet them and to thank them for saving his life. They explained that Neil was in a bad way when they arrived and that the ambulance crew with him were struggling to save him. His head and neck were distorted, his lungs had collapsed and he was having difficulty breathing. They opened the side of his chest at the roadside and performed life-saving surgery. His liver and part of his stomach were in his chest and his ribs shattered on one side and broken on the other, which was hampering his breathing. Their brilliance and expertise undoubtedly saved Neil and they confirmed that if Neil had gone by road ambulance he would definately not be here today. Everyone who has generously donated to the SAA can see that they do make a difference and save peoples' lives.

More Funny Exercises

Just thought you might like to see another one of Neil's exercises from Jane. He thought he looked like an idiot in the last clip but you'll be pleased to know he's not wearing his yellow vest this time! He's now got about 120 degree bend on his left leg, which is fantastic. He's also having physio at Dorking Hospital once a week and using all the gym equipment, riding the bike etc. He's making an improvement each time he has physio with Jane and Dorking Hospital and they are all pleased with him. Hoping he continues to improve.

Great Game

What a game for all that are interested in football last night. The match could of been decided either way. It was a credit to English football. I felt for JT and others when they missed their penalties but some one has to miss. For John, he must feel very low but I'm sure his family will look after him, these are the most important people in his life. He's a good guy and this will make him stronger. In away I could relate to the penalty miss last night because Luke never felt comfortable in taking penalties.
I went to the church last night about midnight to tell Luke how well Chelsea had played and that we lost the game on a kick on goal. Also said that no team deserved to lose in this way, but credit must go to Man Utd and remember it was won by an English team.

Weekend Of Comfort

Hi All, Been away this weekend upto Liverpool to a 'Bereaved Parents Day'. Sal and I were wondering what we were doing up here in Liverpool, obviously apprehensive about what we're we going to achieve.
We arrived just after 9.30am being greeted and made very welcome by Brian and Pauline and Nich who were our facilitators for the day. They were on our table with various other parents who are going through similar tragic losses to their families. There was no pressure put on any individual during any part of the day. You could participate as much or as little as you wanted to. Our table consisted of other parents who had lost their children through road traffic accidents. For us it was comforting to know we were amongst parents who are grieving like us and at the end of the day became good friends, we will keep in touch. There was about 60 people who turned up for the event. We found the day uplifting, well organised and look forward to the next get together.
People who I spoke to in Liverpool were very friendly even if I did mention on a couple of occasions that Luke and I were Chelsea fans! Bye for now x.

Difficult Day!

Hi All, We've had to do the hardest thing that we'll ever do in our life today. We have laid Luke to rest in Brockham church where there is a lovely stone in his memory. It was a lovely sunny day where we had a short service taken by the vicar Jonathan with Luke's grandparents. It will be a lovely place to go to remember him. We will be going regularly to the church to have a chat with Luke about day to day issues.
I personally get great comfort sitting outside the church and think about all the wonderful times we had with our son. He will always come first before anything else. Nothing is more important than this.
Hope all is well with everyone and see you soon. Love Always x.

Hi Everyone

What a day. Managed to get a ticket for the Chelsea v Bolton game, cheers Alan. Enjoyed it very much but well done to all you Man Utd fans you've been very consistent over the year, well deserved. My only issue today from one referee to another was scholes should of gone for an early bath but I'm sure that would of not changed anything. For all you Fulham fans, how things have changed over the last six games, great stuff, all that hard work has paid off!
Got a busy week ahead, back at work for a few days, as well as other very important matters to sort out with my family. I'm getting pretty impatient about my fitness levels on my left leg, but I'll just have to wait and realise it takes time to mend. Hope you've all enjoyed the sunshine, love to you all. x

Seen The Treehouse At Last!

Went to the treehouse tonight with Sal for the first time and my first thoughts boys and girls were that you all did a great job. I could not believe how high you all went up the tree. Luke didn't take after his dad on this one, I'm totally scared of heights! The football shirts, socks, flags, towel and even a chelsea teddy gave me thoughts how caring you all are. Thanks also goes to Mums & Dads for planting bulbs etc around the tree, look forward to seeing them come out next year. My hope is you all have good lives and get repaid in kindness. Love to all x.

Physio That Makes a Difference

A lovely friend of ours, Jane Hoggarth, who is a qualified Paediatric Physiotherapist, has been kindly dropping in to see Neil once a week for the past month or so and putting him through his paces with some physio! He has improved tremendously with Jane's help and can now bend his knee to about 90 degrees. His lungs are much better than they were but still not as good as they are hopefully going to get. He now walks with barely a limp but his leg does stiffen up if he over does it (although that didn't stop him from refereeing the boys' matches on Sunday!)

Thank you Jane - you have truly helped so much and are very encouraging. Here's a little clip of what they get up to!!!

Thank You All For Your Tribute

For those that don't know, Brockham Badgers FC held today a fun day of football for all boys and girls of all ages. Over 200 children came along and enjoyed playing all day with a free lunch provided. Organisation again was superb with plenty of volunteers making another event go smoothly. This year not taking Luke I found really hard when I woke up this morning. I thought of him throughout the day how he would of played with his mates.
Thank you so kindly Grant Ashley and the commitee for Lukes tribute today it was really humble and obviously something I will never forget. I will talk to Luke in my own way and tell him how wonderful everyone has been. Love always Neil & Sal xx.

Thank You!

Firstly I would like to thank all those responsible for making last Saturday a very enjoyable day even though at times it became abit emotional. I couldn't of written a better script. Chelsea played very well and fully deserved there victory on the day. My thanks also go to my good friend Simon and John Terry for ensuring all my family went to see the game. My thoughts throughout were with Luke and how he would of reacted during the game. I know he was smiling especially at the end which gives me some comfort. Take care all of you x.

Just To Let You Know How Things Are From Me!!

After a short stay in East Surrey Hospital I've kept myself fairly busy which then takes my mind of other things. Support and kindness from everyone is still very much appreciated. I'm writing this as I still miss my boy so so much and that I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel. You would think that I should be able to deal with this but truthfully I can't and never be able to, I'm lost without him. Sal and I are getting councilling which I hope will help us, but we'll see. I get real comfort in sitting outside our local church, doing abit of gardening, I think about Luke and Sal all the time. I wish you all well and without you I'm nothing x.

Car Wash Fundraisers

A group of 10 of Luke's friends all got together on Friday 11th April to go around Brockham calling on people to ask to wash their cars in aid of the Surrey Air Ambulance. Lee, Rosie, Lara, Hatti, Pippa, Will, Josh, Russ, Kieran and Alex spent all day working tirelessly to raise money for the charity. They had good weather for most of the time but did get caught in a hail storm, thunder and lightening and rain but carried on regardless. They all stopped for a short while at our house to refuel with sandwiches and some lovely cakes made by Helen, Lee's Mum (thanks Helen they were scrummy!). They raised £345 which is a fantastic achievement. Well done to all of you. Neil and I would like to thank you for your hard work and for giving up your day.

Hi It's me yet again!!

As Sal says I need to slow down abit, but I suppose she's right. I feel better now after receiving great treatment from East Surrey Hospital. As they say I had a full M.O.T. and hopefully won't have the same problems again but I am prone to have some set-backs. The last week has seen some ups and downs. The ups during the week were seeing more friends of Lukes being girls I've heard about but never seen, Pippa, Jess, Lara and Immi and Chris Thurgood kindly came with them. Also great to see Sam Brightman who popped in Friday. Obviously the downs being put back into hospital. Tonight I saw my first youth game since January and what an enjoyable one it was watching the Brockham 'B' boys play against Ockley 'B' boys. Good spirit between both teams which I had the pleasure to see and want to see in the future as it means alot to me and Sal. Keep smiling all of you x.

He's Home ... Again!!

Just to let you all know Neil came home from East Surrey Hospital yesterday afternoon (Tuesday 1st). He had a scan which showed no blood clot on his lungs, which is really good news. He's still quite breathless but has medication to take for a chest infection. I think really he needs to stop talking as that is wearing him out!! (not much chance of that)

Bit of a set back

Neil was having breathing difficulties towards the end of last week and eventually, after a lot of persuading, he let me ring the emergency doctor. He saw the doctor who sent him straight to East Surrey Hospital in Redhill to have a chest x-ray. They admitted him on Saturday afternoon and are treating him with antibiotics for a chest infection. He is having a scan today to rule out the possibility of a blood clot on his lung. Hopefully, if the scan is clear, they might not keep him in to long. When I saw him yesterday he was a lot brighter.

Coping

Life is a permanent haze at the moment and we are existing day to day. The world is still spinning and life is continuing for everyone - our world has stopped. We have been so lucky to have so many wonderful friends and family surrounding us at this dreadful time and we know you all wish you could more. Your support is enough and we thank you all. We went up to Royal London last Thursday for an appointment with a consultant. Firstly we visited the ICU and met a lot of the nurses and doctors who treated Neil, which was fantastic. They were so pleased to see him looking well and walking and gave us great big hugs and said how amazed they were with his recovery. We then visited the Harrison Ward where Neil had been after ICU and saw more people he knew. They too were delighted to see him and we took them some choccies and biscuits. Neil wants to see James who was a patient he had made friends with. He was poorly when Neil had left there as he had spent 3 months in Intensive Care and wouldn't eat. We found him in very good spirits and had put on a lot of weight and was recovering well. We also visited another patient I had got to know through her family and she was doing quite well but sadly remains paralysed but is very positive.

I took Neil to The Good Samaritan pub and we had a lovely meal. This is the pub we used to go in frequently when we visited Neil and he agreed it was a good place to go.

We then went to see the consultant and he asked how Neil was. Neil explained his breathing was improving but not as good as it was and his leg was still troubling him. The consultant was very negative and said Neil would never be the same again, his lungs would never be as good as they were and his leg may stay the same. He said only 1 to 2% of people who suffer an injury like Neil's survive and we should be realistic about the seriousness of his injuries. He told Neil he'll never run a marathon again but might be able to jog. Well that all came as a bit of a kick in the teeth but we're remaining positive and intend to prove him wrong. Perhaps he was having a bit of an off day!

We're off to a support group we've joined for bereaved parents tonight so that should be helpful. We have a follow up appointment next week at Royal London (not with the same consultant thankfully).

Some of Luke's friends popped 'round after school yesterday which was lovely - Will W, Andy W, Luke M and George S. It was good to see them but a little sad too when they'd gone. Thanks boys.

The girls are dropping in Friday so that will be lovely too.

2nd Update From Me!

Hi to you all. Nothing has changed at home, as I feel totally empty especially at night and in the morning. My head is all over the place. I'm very fortunate in the day to have Sal and see so many family and friends which keeps me going. People keep telling me that I'm doing really well and getting better all the time but as I've told alot of you I would change my life for Luke anyday, please understand. Luke had many many years ahead of him. I now won't see him grow up to perhaps one day get married and be a father and then I would be a grandad (what a great and wonderful feeling). I still believe Luke is coming in the front door after school or maybe later after seeing his mates, and to tell him to get on with his homework or have a conversation about whats been happening during the day.
I'm off to London Hospital in Whitechapel this Thursday for a heart scan. The most important part is I can't wait to see the other patients who are having a tough time of it, they all mean alot to me. Also I look forward to seeing the doctors and nurses, who as you all know do a great job!!.
That's me done for now, to all of you keep smiling as you all mean the world to me. Take care x.

Hi Everyone It's Me!!!

At last you've got a message from me!!
Words can't describe how fortunate and heartwarming it is to know what wonderful people you all are. Which without this I would not be alive today. Sally my wonderful wife and I can't thank you enough for all the hard work, messages of support and comfort you all bring to us both. My family have all said what great people you have around you.
Luke and Sal are and still will be my life. To all of Luke's friends I love you all, please please come round to my house even if I haven't met you before, I would like to meet you. You are all welcome anytime I really mean that!
Since I've come out of hospital I'm finding it really hard to adjust to some type of normality as our house feels empty without Luke. Like alot of Luke's friends have said he had a great outlook on life, he was always smiling and wouldn't hurt anyone. For me being a proud father I miss him every minute of the day. Sal and I have to keep ourselves busy all the time by visiting and having family and friends over during the day.
My injuries are healing all the time but getting very frustrated with my left leg as it might still have to have some surgery. Breathing is also an issue but I'm still being told it will take sometime to recover as I did quite alot of damage to my upper body.
Please everybody and I mean everybody! keep in touch and love to you all. Neil x

He's Home!!!

Sorry I've been very bad at updating everyone. Been a bit busy over the last few days. Neil came home from Gatwick Park Hospital on Monday afternoon and we are adjusting to being at home together alone. We have had lots of visitors already and this has helped us but the evenings are the worst. We are being strong for each other.

Neil has been making steady progress. He is walking around on his crutches, weight bearing still only 30% on his left side. He can get up and down the stairs with no problems and we have even managed a walk to the end of the road and back. He's not quite so out of breath but his lungs still need more expansion before he can cope with more exercise. It's going to be a gradual thing and he's taking it easy. He has a special breathometer, which he is supposed to use every hour, to build up his lungs.

I bought a decent shower mat so that Neil could have a shower safely but he decided he wanted a bath! He's now had two baths and can get him in and out with not too much difficulty.

Weekend update

Neil has been a bit up and down this weekend. He's frustrated with himself and just wants to be able to be back to normal as quickly as possible. He's had quite a few visitors which has been lovely - he does like to chat, which tires him out but you just can't shut him up sometimes!! Both days we've taken him outside in the garden to get a bit of fresh air. Pushing him in the wheelchair we have sat at the table wrapped up in our coats and blanket and drunk hot chocolate. We've watched the wildlife in and around the pond - the ducks follow each other around and the squirrels chase each other up and down the drain pipes of the hospital. Unfortunately Neil's TV at the hospital doesn't have Sky so he wasn't able to watch the Carling Cup Final, Chelsea -v- Tottenham - just as well maybe!

Neil's due to be re-assessed tomorrow (Monday) to find out how much longer he might have to stay at Gatwick Park.

Thursday and Friday's Updates

Thursday Neil was told he could weight bear a little on his left leg, but only 30%. He had physio morning and afternoon. Walking between parallel bars and learning to put his feet down correctly so his walking was steady, turning at the ends and walking back again. He also learnt to walk up and down a few steps. He is getting very good on his crutches. We took him outside in a wheelchair and walked along the path to the pond where we sat and had a drink of hot chocolate (this is his first time outside in over 5 weeks!) He loved it.

Friday was a sad day - it would have been Luke's 15th Birthday. I went to the treehouse in the morning with family and friends and met loads of Luke's friends there. I rang Neil on the way. We sang happy birthday around the tree. It was lovely and so nice to see lots of his mates. I took photos to show Neil later at hospital. I went to see Neil early afternoon and he was looking good. He had been walking up and down earlier in the morning. We took him outside again and had more hot chocolate. He was pushed in the wheelchair but walked from the hospital entrance to the seat we sat on. I helped him shower later in the evening, which went well. (we're getting pretty slick at the showering business now!) We opened a present from my friends at work - they have had a star named after Luke - so sweet. He was our star and it was a wonderful idea.

Wednesday Crutches Day

Neil was a bit out of breath when we arrived as he had been charging down the corridor on his frame. The consultant popped in to see him and said he would have more scans taken of his pelvis and left leg today. He had many visitors today which was lovely as people just dropped in for a short while. The physiotherapist, Jackie, and her colleague turned up and explained to Neil how to use some crutches instead of the frame. She said he would probably only be able to stand today but once he gets used to them would be able to walk slowly. Neil took no notice and dashed off and was out the door with them following behind. He came back a little while later and was puffing a bit. Then a wheelchair arrived to take him to have his scans. More visitors came and went and Neil was very chatty. The physiotherapist told him she may start him on weight bearing a little on his left side tomorrow but the consultant would need to see him first to discuss the scans.

Tuesday Haircut Day

Neil was allowed a 'lie in' this morning - he was woken at 7.30 am instead of 6.30 am!! (That's private hospitals for you). I turned up to see him at 11 ish and met Yvonne, a friend who works there, just calling in to see Neil. Later he went for a 'hop' along the corridor and dashed backwards and forwards at great speed looking into each room and saying hello to everyone. I was walking behind him ready to catch him if he fell! He was quite tired when he got back to his room. Tina called in at lunchtime, as she only works down the road. Simon dropped in after lunch and sat and chatted with Neil whilst I nipped into Tescos down the road to buy a few bits. My sister Diane arrived just as Simon was leaving and in the afternoon helped me get Neil into the bathroom so I could cut his hair. He then had a lovely shower (the second one in 5 weeks). It was a lot easier than the first one he had and he felt great afterwards. I gave his feet a massage with some cream and then replaced his sexy stockings. Neil's physio, Jackie, came in and went through some exercises with Neil and checked his mobility. She was going to see him again tomorrow once the consultant had seen him to begin . Neil's cousin Norman came by to say hello and stayed for a while chatting about football (yet another footie fan). His Mum and Dad arrived in the early evening with Tina and Brian and his Mum stayed with Neil whilst the others went to watch football. The consultant dropped in very briefly to say hello and said he would return tomorrow to discuss things further.

Monday Moving Day!!

Yes, finally the day has arrived. Neil was transferred from Royal London by private ambulance to Gatwick Park Hospital. Thanks goodness. Much as we thought the care and treatment he received at Royal London was fantastic, the journey there and back each day was not. To be 20 minutes from home is a relief to us all. The ambulance journey was smooth and we arrived at Gatwick Park around 4.30 pm. They gave us a warm welcome and Neil was wheeled to a private room overlooking a garden and a pond, his own ensuite bathroom and TV - luxury! Mr Campbell is due to see him tomorrow and physio will start then. They have the use of a hydrotherapy pool nearby, which will be of great help to Neil's recovery. The nurse took Neil's dinner order and at 6.00 pm his mackrel pate appertiser followed by a medium cooked steak and chips with all the trimmings and cheese and biscuits for afters arrived. (I think his sickness has disappeared today). I helped him with the mackrel pate, which was delicious. Tina and Brian dropped in for a while and then Neil's Mum and Dad appeared soon afterwards. Nikkie called in to collect me and I left about 8.30 pm.

Sunday Update

I did not go up on Sunday to see Neil but Simon and Rose went and arrived about 2.00 pm. He was being sick and felt awful. They stayed with him for a couple of hours and he just felt terrible the whole time. I rang and spoke to him and he did sound bad. He didn't want to eat anything and the nurses gave him anti nausea tablets, which didn't work. Tina and Brian turned up about 4.30 pm and Simon and Rose left after that. Tina convinced Neil he should have an anti nausea injection and Neil reluctantly agreed. He was not keen and when he saw the size of the needle even less so! However, soon afterwards he became much brighter and managed to eat a bit of dinner. I rang again at just after 9.00 pm and the nurse told me he was asleep - so I asked her to wake him up to tell him I had rung (only kidding!)

Friday and Saturday's Update

I arrived bang on 2.00 pm having been driven up by my boss, Chris. Neil was looking good. Alan hadn't long gone and Neil was, as usual, pleased to see us. Bradley (the Senior House Officer) came to check him out and try to extract a bit of blood. Neil hates having blood taken and couldn't look. Bradley couldn't find a vein in his arm after trying for a while so had to take some from the back of his hand - ouch! He checked out the lump on Neil's leg and explained he would need a scan and possibly an operation. The trauma consultant at Gatwick Park Hospital had gone on holiday for two weeks leaving another consultant in charge. Fortunately that consultant is a Mr Campbell who Neil knows well, as he has operated three times on his knees over the past 15 years - the most recent of which was last year. Mr Campbell said he remembered Neil and accepted him as a patient. If all is ok with Neil's heart he could be transferred Monday afternoon. Chris spoke to James, the hit-and-run patient opposite Neil, and explained he might be able to help him with his accident (he is a personal injury solicitor!) Poor guy he's in a bad way, still unable to eat solid food but alive and making slow progress. Neil's Mum and Dad arrived at 4.00 pm and we filled them in with today's news. Neil was really pleased and is now looking forward to being transferred Monday but realises this may happen if his heart still has fluid around it. Chris and I left at 4.30 (really good time - not - took us an hour to do two miles!) I wanted to get back earlier so I could come home to Glenfield Road. My sister, Nikkie, was coming to live with me for a while so I can get used to being back there. She bought and made me dinner (such a sweetie) and is looking after me really well. Neil's friend from work, Colin, dropped in to see him later that evening.

Saturday I was collected by Simon, who chauffeured me, my sister Diane and my Mum and we arrived at the stroke of 2.00 pm. Neil was ok and had been moved to the room before his old ward right by the window which he was pleased about. A new part of the hospital is being built and the view from the grubby window by Neil's beside is over the garden courtyard and lovely building works outside. He had been hopping around the corridor on his zimmer this morning and went on a further hop shortly after we arrived with Simon. He was pretty exhausted afterwards and felt a bit sick. He wanted to watch the Man United and Arsenal game and hopped to the day room with all of us at 5.00 pm. He settled down in the chair with a couple of pillows and had only watched about 20 minutes when a consultant arrived to discuss the x-rays of his knee. He had to hop back to his bed and unfortunately missed two goals in the process!! The consultant explained the lump on his leg was due to the trauma received and that bone had begun to grow within the muscle tissue. Neil needs to see how well he rehabilitates and whether this growth will cause any restrictions. If it does they could operate but it could be tricky, as it may damage muscle tissue. He suggested we speak to Mr Campbell at Gatwick Park Hospital, who is a knee specialist and could probably give a clearer diagnosis. Neil was disappointed with this news and began vigorous exercise immediately!.

Friday is Fish day

I couldn't get there until about 1pm today and he proceeded to tell me how the fish and chips wasn't all that good he had finshed. Good to hear him moan again! He was in good spirits today and has obvioulsy been listening to all that is going on in the hospital. He proceeded to tell me about the guy across from him who was in ICU for 92 days, a victim of a hit and run, who had just got out of bed for the first time that day. He seems to know all the staff and is obviously enjoying being near the staff reception area. He has become the Harrison Ward gossip!!!

He went for a reasonable hop/stroll around the ward in the morning and was planning his next excursion for 2:30. He said it wears him out but he's determined to keep pushing himself. Good see that determination again. He was still waiting for confirmation of the move but not before the weekend.

Anyway I'm going on holiday so look forward to seeing updates from others. Hopefully on my next visit I'll be taking him some champagne to celebrate the mighty Blues victory in the Carling Cup

Shower Time!!

Went in to see Neil at 2.00 pm with Simon. He was quite chilled out and was pleased to see us. My sister Nikkie arrived and we all chatted around the bedside. Neil gave me a lovely Valentine's Card which some very special words in it and a big red heart to hang up. (He must have popped out to the shops at some point 'cos I don't know where they came from!) I gave him a Valentine's Card too (a homemade one!). Nikkie left and Simon escorted her back to her car so we could have some time alone. When Simon returned he was with my other sister, Julia, who he had picked up in the entrance!

He walked (shuffled) with the aid of his frame, to the toilet with my help and back again and was exhausted when he reached the bed! Julia and Simon went off for a romantic Valentine coffee together whilst Neil went and had a shower. With the help of a lovely male nurse, we wheeled him into the shower room. He had to sit in a chair which was hoisted over the bath and then he showered. Bless him - this is the sort of thing disabled and elderly people use and he looked helpless. He will get stronger once he can put weight on his left side.

Neil enjoyed his tea at 6.00 pm of cheese omlette, mash potato, carrots and beans! (weird combination I know). He has another 'stab wound' room mate, who has been put in the same bed as his previous 'stab wound' friend. The Brazilian lady opposite looked a lot brighter today and she has now been transferred to St Barts.

We left Neil with a puzzler magazine and I will check how much he has done tomorrow!

Valentines Day Rescue

Neil was sitting in the chair next to the bed when I arrived today. He had a T-shirt on that his mum had bought him which made him look more like himself. He told me he had been walkies all the way along the corridor already, he's getting more confident about moving around and is making good progress. He said that he has some fluid on his heart but apparently it's not that unusual.He was a little bit down again today , he's got too much time to think about things. He perked up after a while though and I established that he didn't have a valentines card. Tina had got one for him but we anticipated that he would be in Gatwick and so she hadn't been able to get it to him. I didn't want to see Sal put him back in intensive care so I nipped down to the hospital shop and got him one.

It appears that the earliest he could move is Sunday but it still needs the consultants to talk before he can go. Now Charlie Gaspants has moved in I think Neil is pretty keen to move out! Hopefully for his travelling fans he can move soon.

When I left he was looking forward to seeing Sal and Simon.

Wednesday Morning update

Dr Self here! I went to see Neil this morning, obviously took my gas mask in case Mr Smelly decided to have some more fun. He was pretty good and managed to hop with his 'zimmer frame' about 10 metres and then also perform various exercises, like squatting, for a while. He was a bit breathless but did very well. I was with him for about 1.5 hours which was good and he was very chatty. He was told that he would have a scan on his leg at 14:15 which pleased him. A nurse came to take blood and I have never seen someone panic so much!!! He absolutely hates it. In the end she couldn't get any and gave up...although I have to admit I hate needles also, so much so that I couldn't watch. A nurse did actually ask me who I was today after an hour and so I think I have been rumbled. She didn't chuck me out though, has anyone got a stethoscope?

Sal rang me at 2:45 to say he'd gone down for the scan but the bad news is that Gatwick Park is full so he can't go there. They were seeing if there was an alternative. Neil taken the news well but for all those travelling up to see him it's disappointing. Hopefully Sal may have some better news later.

Monday and Tuesday's Progress

Monday Neil was quite emotional in the morning when Al saw him. The Chaplain paid him a visit and talked to him for a while. I arrived with Neil's Mum and Dad about 2 o'clock and Neil was fairly bright. He hadn't wanted to do the physio and felt very tired and lethargic. He managed to eat most of his dinner but was keen to get things moving so he could be transferred to Gatwick Park Hospital. He was waiting to be checked over by the cardiologist to be given the all clear to be transferred. The cardiologist unfortunately didn't arrive and they told Neil it would have to wait until Tuesday. We noticed a solid lump which has appeared at the top of his left leg which needs to be scanned and checked also. Neil's friend Lee, who was in the bed opposite, was discharged and he said goodbye to us all. He had been stabbed by a 'friend' a few days earlier. He and Neil and talked a lot about 4 am most mornings.



Tuesday morning, once again Al did his doctor impersonation and sneaked in to see Neil before visiting hours. He was better than the day before but still having low times. His sister Tina rang him on his personal line to help while away a bit more time for him. I arrived with my Dad at 2 o'clock and he was very pleased to see us. He had done his physio and had hopped a few steps using a frame, which he was delighted with - but totally shattered. When we first arrived there was the most disgusting smell coming from the bed next door and poor Neil was gagging and couldn't escape - I closed the curtains and fetched him a sick tray. His retching could be heard around the ward! I have to admit I was retching too - it was revolting. We later found out this patient was an elderly gentleman called Charlie who saw Neil and thought he was George Graham! (or is it Graham George?) The cardiologist eventually turned up and gave Neil the all clear. He has taken him off the heart tablets and is very happy with his progress. He still awaits the scan on his left leg before they will allow him to be transferred. A patient opposite Neil arrived yesterday (a hit and run victim) who has badly fractured her pelvis and leg. Poor lady she couldn't understand much English as she is from Brazil. The Roman Catholic Priest at the hospital (who is Brazilian) came to see her today. Whilst he was explaining her forthcoming operation to her he went an ashen shade when one of the nurses walked past with a couple of bags of blood and then fainted and had to be carried off by two doctors! It was all happening today!! Jerry Hamilton texted me to see if we wanted a lift home as he was working nearby. He popped in to see Neil and cheered him up and then drove us home in comfort. Hoping Neil will have the scan tomorrow and that he can be transferred to Gatwick Park Hospital asap.

Message from Julia from Sunday

Neil was pleased to see Sally when she arrived at 2:05pm today byt immediately complained that she was 5 mins late! He had been bored all morning and had watched the clock continuously from 6:30am, when the lights were switched on, until 2pm when visitors can arrive.
No physio today as its Sundaybut he's been moving his arms and legs a lot in bed and performing various exercises to try to strengthen his muscles.
Yesterday he told Sally he really fancied a nice salad to eat so she popped to Sainsburys before she went to see him, to but him one. When she arrived , 5 minutes late, and produced it he quickly announced he really fancied a 'Big Mac' today. Simon, who had driven Sally to the hospital, quickly obliged and rushed to the Macdonalds over the Road. Neil really enjoyed a 'Big Mac', fries and large coke! He then ate Macoroni Cheese and carrots when they brought tea round later so he seems detemined to put his weight back on ;-)
He has had a check on his heart and needs the results of that before he can be transferred so hopes to know tomorrow.

Ju (Sal's sister)

Feeling hungry!

Well Neil was certainly a lot brighter when we visited him on Sunday. When I arrived he said he was bored, so bored, so very bored - he'd been waiting for me to arrive since 7.00 am and watched the clock pass each hour! He doesn't want to read the paper or watch the TV (I know exactly how he feels - nothing seems important now). I haven't got a clue what's going on in the outside world at the moment. I went up with my Mum and Simon Tonge and we popped to Sainsburys first to buy some lunch. Neil was keen to have a salad the day before so Simon bought him a lovely chicken salad. However, when we arrived and the salad was produced he said what he really fancied was a Big Mac, chips and coke! Simon went straight out to McDonalds and bought it for him - he stuffed his face and enjoyed every mouthful. Physio grinds to a halt at the weekends and so nobody had been around to see him but he was doing his exercises for most of the time we were there and was cross with himself that he couldn't do more. Mum and Simon left and Neil and I had some time alone. I popped up on the bed with him and nearly dozed off! My sisters Julia and Nikkie turned up an hour later and disturbed the peaceful atmosphere! One of Neil's ward mates is a lovely guy called Lee who was stabbed a few days ago - they chat together in the mornings and the evenings when visiting times are over. Neil ate his macaroni cheese and carrots and we left shortly afterwards. He was in fairly good spirits but said he was now going to be bored until my next visit!

Neil didn't feel too great when I arrived today and you could see the discomfort in his face. He was sitting in a chair but wanted to get back into bed. I asked the nurses and left him to get comfortable. As there was a few people there Chris and I decided to go to the pub! The Good Samaritan...Guiness was good. We went back and he looked a lot better, or maybe my eyes were blurred!!. We stayed for a while with everyone and chatted. He is having a couple of checks, one on his heart and the other urine to see if he can move to a local hospital. It's hoped he may move on Tuesday to a more local hospital that will be a lot more convenient for the family visits. He still doesn't feel up to seeing lots of people at the moment. That's all for now

The Latest from Royal London

Been to see Neil today. He was in pretty good spirits. Obviously had a few down moments but is very positive. He wants to be able to jump out of bed and run around the ward! He is disappointed he cannot do this. It is going to take time and he has come to realise this now. Neil is very alert and has a prime position in the ward, watching all the comings and goings along the corridor (he's always been quite keen to watch what's going on). He is having physiotherapy every day and was able to stand briefly today and sit in a chair. His room mate keeps going for a wander and has to be returned back to his bed - poor chap - he's Polish and cannot understand what they are saying to him. Back up to see Neil again tomorrow so will update everyone then.

Neil saying hello to everyone

This video was caputured today by Doug on his mobile phone. Still making superb progress. As you can see he now has no tubes in him and looks his normal self. Apparently he tried to get a bit of the nurses chinese last night! I'm sure they'll want him out soon. He may be moving to a more local hospital early next week. This will be good for the constant stream of visitors, except me as I work in London!!! Did a little bit more physio work today but as he can't put any weight on the left side it's very hard. I only popped in for a short while so hopefully others can put more on later.

This was taken on the Sat 2nd Feb. Neil has had the tubes removed now. I'll put a new pcture up soon.
Today he had to get out of bed and balance on his right foot whilst leaning against a zimmer frame. He managed to stand for a few seconds, I think he said 30. He said it was very hard work and he was sweating trying to do this. He has been given some exercises to do, basically moving his ams around, to start building himself up again.

Site to provide updates on how Neil is getting on

To save on emails, phone calls etc we will endeavour to post an update every day on Neil's recovery for all to see.

I saw him yesterday and he has been moved from ICU. I saw him in the high dependency unit and he looked well. He's obviously lost some weight, his face looks a lot thinner! He has had the tracheochtomy(?)/ventilation removed and is talking very well. I understand he was moved onto the general ward later that day. The pain killing drip is no longer in place and he is just taking pain killers at regular intervals. He had an x-ray on his hip which I assume is to see how much physio he can attempt today.